FAILED DAY ONE

Ok...so I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, but I feel completely defeated.

I made it all the way until 9:15 this evening.  I felt like I was so hungry I was going to start gnawing on my own toes...it was bad.  I had 3 green drinks today and 2 fruit drinks.  More than I ever juice when I am doing juice and raw.

In a moment of weakness I caved...I figured, what's an apple?  An apple is the exact same thing I put into a blender but the crunching will help kill the cravings.  (yet not help with the shutting down of the digestive system)...nope.  It made me hungrier.  So then I had about oh, a 1/2 a cup of sunflower seeds and a pear.

OK....I should have stopped there.  Could have stopped there...but no....a piece of Ezekiel bread with all natural peanut butter led to a 1/2 a ezekiel bread swiss cheese sandwich and some dark chocolate.


WTF!!!!!

Come ON Dana.  WHAT IN THE WORLD?  I did not realize I have an addiction to eating.  Oh, well, maybe I do not...but the cheese sandwich?  WHEN do I ever eat grilled cheese?  Ever?  Obviously my bodies strong need to adjust overcame my will power.

So this is how I am trying to look at this.  I did well all the way until 9ish...maybe tomorrow evening I can go to bed earlier (an issue for me)...but tomorrow is a new day.  I did not go all out.  I did not break out the pear pie left overs or eat a bunch of chocolate or whatever.  I tried and I almost made it.  So here is to DAY TWO tomorrow...which technically will be day ONE but I am NOT going to beat myself up and go backwards a day.  THIS will get easier, I can do this TOMORROW.  I can.  You'll see.

Later On Day One

I have noticed that if you have a chance to nap during the day, or when you get home from the office during the first week it can help a lot with the detox portion.  I tend to process out a lot while I sleep and wake up feeling less foggy.

So this afternoon's lesson learned?

NAPS are good during  detox.  Even if you can grab an hour after work for those of you that are working.

30 Day Juice Feast

Hmmmm....

So juice feasting/fasting is not something that is completely new to me.  It was completely new to me about a month ago, but after seeing the movie FAT, SICK AND NEARLY DEAD...my perspective changed about a lot of things.

Today is Day ONE of a 30 day juice feast.  It's a daunting task.  I have been juice feasting now for several weeks, never going without food.  I supplemented nuts and popcorn and then raw foods.  I am not getting the results that I want and know that the juice feast can bring.  I have been able to come off of all medications except for an anti anxiety medication that I take to help me sleep at night.  I was able to be off of it some nights but would like to completely rid myself of it.

I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome and stopped taking metformin and wellbutrin related to that.  So this morning I made two fruit smoothies because I woke up hungry.  I added flax seed to both and it is now 1:40 in the afternoon and I'm hungry.  Instead of making any mean green just yet, I am drinking coconut water.

I should add that I take at least 2 tsp of coconut oil a day, a probiotic and vitamin d drops.  I am hoping to see my skin clear up, eyes brighten, energy return and an overall sense of well being.  I also would like to drop about 10lbs of fat and have the energy return so that I can begin weight lifting again.

This is no easy task.  I hope that blogging will help me in the rough moments so it is possible that I might blog more than once a day.  Coconut water feels like a treat....I miss my popcorn ritual.  I am rushing through this post today as I don't feel much of a mood to write although, when I am feeling more settled and introspective, I think this will be a place and time of release.

We shall see.  And yes Dana....you CAN do this.